I don’t know if you can handle us Asian guys…
Asian guys are just like other guys in that they come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. American media will try to stereotype us as either geeks or comedians or martial artists, but Asians guys are so diverse and multifaceted. It’s very apparent if you watch movies or TV shows from Asia. They can be rebels, funny, romantic, intelligent, mysterious, sensitive, thoughtful, and so much more.
Despite the diversity, I think that there are some common positive traits that Asian guys tend to have due to common cultural influences and upbringing. Especially since Asian countries tend to focus on community and familial thinking, many of these traits deal with maintaining harmony in relationships. What that means for the ladies is that Asian guys are good at getting along and they aren’t as self-centered as some American guys. Here are 5 traits that most Asian men I know exhibit.
1. Hardworking – Asians men are raised with a strong work ethic because many immigrant parents realize that the only way to compete in a foreign country is to work your yellow ass off! You will never see us working at the local WalMart or KFC. We usually have college degrees in a respectable field, and make a solid income. But, we also apply our ethics to our relationships, too. We are patient, understanding, and we do what it takes to make our women feel happy. I know so many Asian guys who spoil their ladies because they do so much for them like cook for them, and help with family matters. On the other hand, I’ve heard lots of stories of lazy white boyfriends who are broke and ask their ladies to cover for them. Really? That’s against our code of honor. Oh, yeah. And we’re hardworking in bed, too. We’ll blow our loads, but we’ll make sure we leave the ladies shakin’ like a washing machine on spin cycle.
American media likes to act like these sort of Asian men don’t exist
2. Generous – Since most Asian men have good solid paying jobs, we don’t sweat the cash. Plus, in Asian culture, we are taught to share what we have. I really admire this about Asian culture because it leads to stronger bonds and a strong sense of community. It’s in stark contrast to the American ideals of ME ME ME and TAKE TAKE TAKE. No, on dates we do the driving, and we often treat our queens to dinner and movies and cocktails. Also, we’re generous with our time, and really listen to our ladies. Some SAMs insist on buying lavish gifts for their ladies, but I ain’t down with that since you can’t buy love. I know a guy who got his lady an iPhone because she lost her phone. A little too generous in my opinion.
3. Responsible – This doesn’t sound sexy, but hold on and listen. It means we’re not flaky. When we set a date, we’ll be there and on time. We won’t cancel last minute or forget because you are worth it, ladies. We’ll plan things around the date so we can give you all the attention you deserve. Forgetting or canceling shows that you have little respect for other peoples’ feelings or time. This leads to other people not taking you seriously, or your word. No, Asian guys have a sense of honor in that respect, and if we agree to something, it is a promise.
4. Well-groomed and clean – Yep, Asian guys are clean, and I can’t say the same for white guys. I’ve had so many white friends who were slobs in college. Their rooms looked straight out of the show HOARDERS. They never washed the dishes, they didn’t launder their clothes, and they didn’t shave or wash up regularly. When Asian men go out on a date, we iron our shirts, wash up, wear cologne, and even get a haircut sometimes. We clean out our car, and make sure it smells really nice in there. If we’re bringin’ the ladies home, the night before we got our yellow rubber gloves and scrub every nook and cranny! We’ll vacuum the place, wash the sheets, and sweep the toilet floor so there aren’t any pubes lying around. The toilet will be spotless, disinfected, and the water will be blue. These are the sort of things a lot of SAMs do behind the scenes which don’t get noticed. But, believe you me, if you compare that to the white dudes who’ve got black moldy toilets and ketchup stains on their t-shirts, you will.
5. Empathetic – Hey, guys are guys, and sometimes we can’t understand what women are thinking. But, if you’re observant and pay attention to the ladies, you can catch the cues and figure out what they are thinking. Asian men are much better at this than Caucasians for sure. No doubt. End of story. Asian culture and family values teach group harmony, and this requires you to empathize with others, and read people’s emotions oftentimes with few clues. Here in the states, people really are clueless unless you explicitly tell them what you are thinking. For Asians, we can just tell when the ladies want to talk, or want attention, or if something is wrong. We’re good in relationships since we are sensitive to these things. Ladies, we will feel your pain and do what we can to alleviate it. It’s just what we do.
So, ladies, try dating some Asian bachelors if you want to experience a solid relationship without the bullshit and drama. There are a lot of hot Asian guys out there with these great traits. The secret is out.
The rebellious Asian dude. No, we don’t always obey.
Single Asian Male 
oh yes i`m searching for an Asian companion since for ever.but i speak only English ( is not my main language). i hope someday i will meet my half. and yes i agree with all above .
Ana Maria, are you Asian? But there are Asian American guys in U.S. who speak English!
Sounds good to me.
I too am seeking an a Nice Asian Guy, I am latin and I have been in admiration of the culture for a very long time. I too have not learned the language, but I am looking to learn. I am trying to find a descent site to connect me to my Ideal man… any suggestions?
Is this post cut off or do I need to be a member to read the whole thing? I can only see number one…
I am a white american female and I’ve been dating an asian guy for about a year. I’ve dated people from a variety of different backgrounds and ethnicities and he is the first asian guy I’ve ever been with, but I have to say that he is the best boyfriend I have ever had. He is funny, gorgeous, incredibly romantic, a great dresser, he treats me like a queen, the list goes on and on… so even without reading the full post, I have to say that this guy is right. Give these SAMs a try.
I have a random question for all you SAMs. How do you feel about it when you get a compliment? My guy seems to HATE it. Every time I say something nice to him he is either dismissive or says something contradictory. I don’t know if I’m just giving him the wrong kind of compliment or if it’s a cultural difference I don’t understand, or what.
@Kelly
Wow, thank you for pointing that out! Somehow the rest of the article got cutoff during an update. Now it’s fixed.
Many Asian guys are not good at taking compliments so don’t take it personally. The way we were raised, it’s like we strive for approval and credit, but when somebody actually gives it to us, it feels embarrassing. That’s kind of how I am. I always think that there is room for improvement, so I couldn’t take compliments graciously but I have been working on it. I think SAMs can learn to just say ‘thank you’ and leave it at that. I think it’s just how we were raised. Many of our parents, even if we got an A minus, would expect more of us and would not be happy with it. I think that sort of thinking got ingrained into your boyfriend, Kelly. I don’t know if it’s your position to try to change that, but you could ask him why that is, and mention this to him.
In any case, thanks for your refreshing comments!
You’re welcome and thank you for your input. I actually found this blog while searching for information on cultural differences that can impact an SAM/AW relationship. While it’s been absolutely worthwhile, it can complicate things significantly when you come from such different backgrounds.
I read the rest of the post after it was fixed… you are so right (especially the parts about sex, ftw!) I just hope that if he & I ever break up I can find another amazing SAM that hasn’t given up on American women, because I never want to go back. Keep up the good work.
The other side of the question to look at is why Asian men are held to a higher standard than non-Asian men.
Because being held to a higher standard also means that others are allowed to get away with doing less for the same type of relationship.
Does that mean Asian men are being appreciated then? Think about it…
Why don’t you specify who you are really promoting this ad to (a.k.a white women)?
PS. Not all Asians have big wallets or well-paying jobs. That might just apply to a portion of Asian Americans. Don’t delude yourself. It’s clear you either don’t know how many Asians actually live or you just are blind about it.
@Conejita
This article is for those ladies who have skewed stereotypes about Asian guys. A lot of these ladies happen to be white, but it is not exclusively for them. We welcome all women of all cultures!
There are many Asian immigrants from poorer countries who lack wealth, but for those Asians who can speak English well, I would say many of them do quite well from what I’ve seen. Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc…
Please, don’t make a fool of yourself.
It is very well know that Asians (both men and women,) generally speaking (please, note I’m not including the few exceptions here,) suffer many racial complexes. That’s why, if they don’t seclude themselves as a defense mechanism, they are looking up to whites and wanting to be accepted by them so badly it is disgusting.
And, if your ignorant, stereotypical parents don’t forbid you to marry/have something serious with someone outside your race, that is because they have come to the idea of accepting the white person as their children-in-law (due to stupid prejudices that put value on one’s skin color. Let’s not forget Asians don’t want to expose their skin to the sun. Lol.)
However, despite the Asian parents’ intrusion into their children’s lives, the Asian woman is brave enough as to stand for her rights to decide what she wants in life (ie. a friend’s cousin had an Asian fiance whose parents offered to pay for her wedding until they learned he was hispanic. After that, they refused. What happened? They continued being together regardless.) But the men, they are so weak!! I’ve heard of many colored women who were totally rejected (and stood no chance to show who they really were) by their Asian partners’ families, and the cowardice of these so call men was above any feeling they might have had for those women, they ended up obeying their parents and getting rid of their partners (and children, if there were some) as if they were objects.
So, instead of promoting yourselves as the ideal men, go back to reality and be a “good,” obedient children of your parents, and don’t lie to women.
PS. You mentioned the key phrase there: those Asians who speak English WELL, because those who speak little to no English (they are not few, though, due to their environment, they might not be so notorious to the white eye, which is the one that spreads stereotypes after all) live in all-Asian neighborhoods, and I wouldn’t say they have good-paying jobs and big wallets.
Let me add. When I say you guys aim to be accepted by whites, I’m not implying it is bad to assimilate into mainstream society (which despite its positives, which are many, their negatives include insisting on putting the white person vs. others in an all-positive light despite the fact they have done the worst things compared to other races.) I’m making reference to Asians’ particular racial attitudes when it comes to whites vs. other races in doing so (which doesn’t mean there are no exceptions, of course.)
And, as the case above, there are much more Asian women who pursue their dreams no matter what (even if those include some based on their racial complexes.) That’s why you will always see more Asian women with non-Asian men in comparison to Asian males with non-Asian women. Because your dictator-like parents play a huge role right there. They think they can decide who their (in many cases) only male child should marry so that the couple, in many cases, will be able to support them or help with house chores in a near future. So, in reality, they are deciding who will be the ideal housekeeper for them as their child’s spouse. Funny! But I’m afraid they are too old as to understand that not even Asian women themselves want to be treated like that after having lived in the USA for some time, let alone non-Asian women, which makes Asian men the least desirable (not because you are not physically attractive or because you don’t exhibit positive traits but because you put certain expectations on women impelled by your desire to satisfy your parents. And, in any culture, there’s nothing worst that having the parents-in-law interfering with a couple’s decisions.)
So, why? Why would any woman date a man who won’t treat her as she deserves? No, I’m not talking about being apparently sweet and nice to her as it lasts–which is how many Asian men behave (even more deceiving;) I’m talking about the true MEN who will stand for them being their partners and their own feelings and not let his family members mistreat his loved one. But, do you know what is sadder than your Asian parents imposing their old fashioned views on their kids? That despite the fact many Asians spend the whole day studying (although someone genuinely intelligent don’t need to do so just because quick learning and specially understanding of things flow naturally), they seem to only value money, power, status, and race. And even sadder is their quickness to assume things about people they absolutely don’t know based on stupid prejudices promoted by third parties. And, I must say, one should have a very low level of reasoning to judge people/things they don’t know (no matter the race of the person who does it.)
@Conejita
So, from the length of your rant, I’m guessing that you were in a serious relationship with an Asian guy, and were treated unfairly by his parents who did not accept you since you weren’t Asian? And then, he broke it off. Therefore, you have very strong feelings of anger and sadness? It really is unfortunate, and I hope you can move on. I can feel your pain. But, you can’t generalize and say all Asian guys will act in the same way.
I’ve seen Asian parents overriding their kids, but I’ve also seen exceptions as well. Lots of them. Both Asian men and women. As Asians assimilate more, there will be more interracial couples, and personally I’m all for it. I think many Asian parents in the States are starting to understand that their traditional beliefs will not work here, and they have to learn to change. If they wanted their kids to date only Asian, they shouldn’t have come to America in the first place!
You also have to understand that Asian guys get it the hardest. They have a lot of these traditions and expectations on their shoulders. The Asian women have it easy since they know that they will be ‘given away’ to the families of their husbands in name. I wouldn’t say they are more courageous at all.
One thing I would point out is that you’re thinking about marriage, when this article is focused more on ‘dating’. Dating doesn’t have to be so serious from the beginning, you know. Anyways, thanks for sharing your point of view.
You guessed bad, my friend. I always write long posts. Besides, I have just limited myself to point out what I have observed (and Asians are not the only people I observe by the way.) I’m a person who hates injustice either with women and men or shit like categorization and prejudice, and I know of too many stories following the same pattern for Asian males. Not my case though, so don’t assume things I have not disclosed.
However, I have had experience with Asian people I considered to be like friends who showed their real face. We would spend a good amount of time sharing ideas, thoughts, and just conversing and smiling, and I thought we got along well and that it was mutual; yet what happened? They would feel embarrassed of ME or uncomfortable if their Asian friends saw us together. Yes, because they happened to have their all-Asian groups formed already (that represented their comfort zone.) They cared way too much what their Asian fellows would think of them going around with a hispanic? (I imagine why. Asians are some of the more prejudice people out there. But going back to their caring way too much about what other Asians think, there was an Asian girl I knew whom once I had the same class with her, she totally ignored me. She sat beside her 2 Asian acquaintances all the semester, yet they weren’t even good friends because, for example, the guy used to talk about how he had made friends and how much he liked other class. He never mentioned them as important people for him. And this girl would want to talk to me again after the semester finished and pretend nothing happened. Was she kidding?)
And some of these Asian “friends” I had would strike a conversation with me whenever we met in person, but in public (even Facebook accounts) they would try to show as little interaction as possible. Yet, if they had white acquaintances, they would try to show to the world how close they were even though in real life they didn’t even get along that well. But you know what?? I’m way too important as to stand anybody who wants to keep me hidden from their social circles (until they “gain” courage to stand for it) just because my race doesn’t fit their ridiculous standards of status. I just get rid of unworthy beings like that once I have confirmed what has been going on. By the way, I study in a very diverse community college, where people come from a variety of backgrounds, and I have friends and acquaintances from every race (yet I have just had these issues with East Asians.)
Now, I’m not saying all Asians behave or will behave the same way. I’m just saying generally, Asians are way too concerned about race, money, power, and status. And as I mentioned before, I’m not blatantly ignoring that there are exceptions out there. Once again, I’m just making reference to some notorious aspects of the Asian culture.
And yes, your article is focusing on dating, but do you think ANY woman want to go out with someone who will take her lightly from the beginning?? Women are not thinking in marrying every guy they go out with, yet they want to know there’s the possibility they could end up having something serious. Although a relationship won’t necessarily lead to marriage, as it lasts, a person wants to know she or he is important enough for the other person as to be considered marriage material at some point even if it doesn’t happen. If you go out with someone just with “gaining some experience” in your mind, you are using that person if she or he is open to whatever could happen next…unless you tell them from the beginning you won’t consider marrying them (which obviously means and will be taken as they are not good enough for you as to be considered your future wife or husband.)
Why do you think most women run away from Indian men? Because they know Indian men will end up marrying other Indians sooner or later. Why do you think women run away from Arabic men? Because even though they are more than open to marry outside their race, they don’t have a good reputation when it comes to the treatment they give to women that have become their wives. Why do you think some women run away from Black and hispanic men? Because they have a reputation of womanizers. And why do you think, sadly, a lot of women want White partners? Because they have a reputation of taking care of their women and respecting them. Of course those all are stereotypes, but women make decisions thinking in the future and will research as much as they can about their current partners’ backgrounds. If they learn Indian men want to experience with them as much as possible until they settle down, the will reject them from the very beginning. SO, #5 failed!
@Conejita
It really sucks that you had to experience that sort of racism from Asians. But, I must admit that it is there. Personally, I didn’t really hang out that much with Asians until college, so I have a diverse group of friends, and I find many cultures interesting. At one point in junior high, I had a group of close friends who were Korean American, Jewish, white, and Euro-Spanish. We were a motley crew! Lately, one of my closest friends at work is a guy named Roberto, who is a Mexican American guy. We talk sometimes about culture, and we have a lot in common. I was surprised how similar our parents think. He’s a cool dude; he’s an artist, surfer, music collector, and he’s an art instructor in college WHILE working.
Anyways, the way your classmates treated you was lame, but it’s very common. Lots of Asians are preoccupied with popularity, and seek group approval. I would say especially the Korean and Chinese American groups because they are so big. They act the same way in church from what I hear. I’m Japanese American, and there aren’t enough of us to care. I was an art student, I personally didn’t care for hanging out in big groups of Asians. I found it rather boring. I wouldn’t take it to personally since those people you befriended were just shallow people. I would NEVER treat someone bad just for popularity points. But, I would point out that most of the people who act this way are Asian women, not the guys.
And, you’re right. Many Asians do look at non-whites as inferior, and do look up to whites especially in the states. It’s a bad way to think, but it’s a fact. I think it’s predominant in first or second generation immigrants who are still trying to ‘make it’ in America. They see the power is in the white people’s hands, and therefore respect them. But, for the Asians who are more established, they are more open to more cultures. I wouldn’t say that Asians are any more obsessed with power than other cultures, but they are definitely focused on being accepted by their Asian community, as well as the working community which happens to be white.
Hmmm…I see where the issue stems from then. You are the child of Japanese parents, and there are not many Japanese people over here, you’re right. Besides, the Japanese, culturally speaking, behave differently from Koreans and the Chinese, which, as you have indicated, are the majority of Asians in the USA. And let’s not forget that the very few Japanese (your parents maybe?) who choose to leave Japan do so mostly because they can’t stand anymore a society that imposes them how they are supposed to behave in every situation (hierarchical customs that undermine human relations, at least when it comes to gender relations and family attachment.) That’s what my Japanese friends have told me, and that’s what I’ve heard of other Japanese in the states as well. They don’t come to the USA for the same reasons other Asians (eg. Chinese) do. So, I don’t know why you are grouping all Asians together (in this site) as if all of them shared the same values. It must be that you, as an American, have bought all the stereotypes created by whites, and ignore that there’s a lot of hostility between Asians themselves (of course, I’m referring to Asians in their own countries specially. Over there, they seem to prefer “westerners” over other Asians and treat the latter as scum. I even had a Chinese American professor who really disliked three Korean classmates of mine and always made rude comments about their nationality. However, over here, generally, they become all united.)
And, I doubt you know how many Asia-born Asians live in the states. If you would, you wouldn’t say their working community is necessarily white. They live in all contexts, from the lower to the upper, just like other ethnicities. Problem is, you are just exposed to the ones who attended university with you, whose parents punish if they don’t get certain grades, which are the ones whites happen to see and spread stereotypes about. But, I, who came to the USA about three years ago with little money and no English at all, pretty well have seen how Asians don’t necessarily fit their “role model” stereotype. (Even in my country of origin, they establish businesses as soon as they arrive thank to the Asian mafias that later on will extort money from them.) I have worked in retail and in a fast food restaurant, and tell you what, there are always Asians in areas like those. Some don’t work and study; they just work…yes, in those shitty jobs. In the retail store I worked at, there were even some Asian chicks who were kinda dirty. I assume they must have come from rural areas where bathrooms didn’t exist, or, who knows, but they would leave leftovers over the toilet. And, in many non-white neighborhoods, there are always Chinese small businesses, where Asian and even Mexican people are exploited by other Asians. If they were that successful, they wouldn’t let them do that. But they might not even have papers. In my country, there are hundreds of Asians who use it as a path to come illegally to the USA. They even falsify papers to remain there. Things are not rose-colored as stereotypes paint them.
But you are right in that sense. I have not seen any Japanese people acting like Chinese or Korean. In fact, they hang out mostly with non-Asians according to what I have witnessed. All the Japanese people I know hang out mostly with people of different races over other Asians in fact. And, I have observed they are not as opposed to interracial relationships either. I have never really heard of Japanese (or their non-Japanese partners), either in Japan or the states, complaining about their parents’ intruding into their children’s relationships.
But, then again, that’s not the main problem of the Japanese when it comes to relationships. The main problem is how clearly delimited the roles of men and women in society are. That is, not counting how some years ago, it was just the children of Japanese men (not women) who were allowed to be considered Japanese regardless of the nationality of the spouse. In Japan, women are supposed to behave lady-like and leave their jobs as soon as they have children because they are supposed to take care of the house. The men, they are supposed to work all day long and give their soul to the organizations they work for. Though I know things are changing. I’m talking about Japan here; I don’t really know how exactly that affects the Japanese living in the states, but it surely should. For instance, a friend of mine, he is amazing, he has the heart of gold (he travels to impoverished areas to do volunteer work and help the less fortunate,) but I never understood him in the romantic arena. Even though he was polite and nice, he was somewhat distant with me…but not because I was Hispanic but because I was a woman he was attracted to. But the thing is, he was not clear about it. I never noticed he liked me until he dropped a hint: he used the interpretation of a literary work to signal he “loved me so much (haha, that’s the phrase he used twice looking right into my eyes. I don’t know how much of a truth they held.)” Just after that I would notice he would be glancing at everything I did and would get really pissed whenever I hung around with a Chinese guy friend. Lol. That could be because Asians don’t see non-whites as the only inferior ones. Asians treat/see other Asians even worse…of course, in their own countries. But going back to the topic, I later on discovered he was involved in some kind or relationship with a Japanese woman, yet there’s no hint about who she is. He never mentions her nor takes her with friends, and has not submitted/uploaded any comment or photo of her to his Facebook account. She is invisible to the eyes of everybody he knows here.
That makes me wonder how Japan-born Japanese relationships work in the states. I know, in Japan, people, especially the men are supposed not to show their truest feelings (which should be one of the reasons people are becoming so uninterested in sex and marriage there) because that would make them look weak and affect their honor while breaking the environment’s harmony, but still…
And given the defined gender roles the Japanese have, no wonder you found so many things in common with the American guy of Mexican descent you know. Mexico is one of the most male-oriented countries ever. And taking into account that the Mexican immigrants who come to the states usually come from the lower socio-economic strata of their countries, they tend to be even more male oriented. I emphasize your and Roberto’s americanity because I have observed that the children of immigrants, if have not traveled to the countries of origin of their parents, tend to have a distorted idea of the reality of such countries’ cultures. But, it’s understandable; they have never (or seldom) been there. They just know about those countries by their parents, and their parents happen to be the small percentage of people (as compared to the whole population) who leave their countries for specific reasons.
And, you know? I sensed you were related to the Japanese, but your banner made me doubt about it. It resembles the Chinese flag.
Oh, and I don’t take it too personally. As I mentioned before, I have friends and acquaintances of many different backgrounds, but I learned my lesson about befriending Asians. I won’t discriminate against them either, but I will be cautious from now on. The problem is, they are the ones who approach me. This girl in my class keeps talking to me instead of the two Asian boys who try to strike a conversation with her. And I wouldn’t say they are shallow at all. I think they are cowards who fear being judged by their ethnic peers, so they don’t stand up for their own interests. But I don’t think peer pressure justifies such behavior anyway. Not even the Indians do that. I would say they are three times as likely to worship whites and be prejudice towards others, but they never betray their friends once you become one. And yes, they experience a lot of peer pressure too.
I’m mixed and I LOVE Asian men. They’re the full package! I really like this website because it breaks the barrier of racism. I hope eventually there will be websites to support Ghanians and other mixed races like me too. I think you’re really on to something with this website. 🙂
After reading some of the longer comments I wonder how I missed the “I know everything” trait. I must have opted out since I clearly don’t have the “judge quickly and emphatically” gene either.
Alas, yet another reason for me to be different.
In a simple phrase: I liked this post.
These 5 reasons are why ANY woman would like a man (and by woman I mean the non judgmental, mature, open minded, knowledgable, self assured creature that a woman is. . . not a girl). And for the record, responsible is very sexy. I get all proud and tingly inside when I pay my mortgage so why wouldn’t I want a man who does the same? In case you didn’t know, debt free lovin is the best! I wana freak, by that I mean those elusive mutants who pay their bills on time and know the benefit of a well shaven face.
Come to me Lee Byung hun, my credit score is amazing!
I come from a honorific culture and this post hits head on the benefits of such upbringing. A little honor would do America good. I mean, who gives blankets infected with small pox for a house warming gift?
WHO DOES THAT!
People who take the time to observe the world around them and then find their place have a leg up on those who plow through the field oblivious of everything except what they want. A man that looks, listens, and feels is what women are taught to seek by their mothers. Unfortunately girls often grasp at the men who offer, promise, and touch.
Anyway, I’m not going to waist word count picking apart the article’s generalizations that were obviously written in jest (though most humor is flavored with truth hehehe). I thought the post was a concise stating of why I will fight, claw, and maim to protect my asian brothers against whomever seeks to defile their name!
I’m waiting Byung hun. The key is under the mat by the garage. . .
Why girls shouldn’t:
1-They are indeed generous with material stuff (they always pay for dates, give you gifts), but you will pay back: they will always make the decision for you and grant themselves with a superior role in the relationship (since they provide, they think it gives them some rights on you). Plus, they lack creativity and you will always end up with gifts that reflect more the general trend (luxurious brands items) than who you really are.
2-Yes they have great jobs and they are obsessed with it. Workaholics. Their sense of duty and their value of social status make them forget about important things in life such as spending time with your girl or taking holidays. I am telling you, it is crazy (5am to 10pm job and you are supposed to wake up to prepare breakfast and wait for them to come back from work). Personally, I’ve given my share. I’d rather be with a man who doesn’t buy me PRADA but who actually spends the WE with me. I am not saying hardworking is a bad quality but asian guys take it to the extreme sometimes and have a really distorted sense of what really matters in life.
3-Responsible except when they are drunk which is pretty much everyday of the week since they have to go drinking with their colleagues after work. Also their sense of responsability is often directed to their family and their country. ESPECIALLY AVOID THE OLDEST SON. You are getting into trouble!!!! They have to live with their parents and support financially the entire family. The daughter in law they are looking for is a slave, yes basically, a housekeeper able to produce grandkids who will be raised by the grandparents. You will suffer because no matter the effort you make, they will NEVER accept you. If you want to experience racism, just go for it. Let me tell you, they won’t give you a chance and they have a veto power, which means no matter how strongly their son feels for you, he WILL obey them and dump you. Now, as long as you don’t plan a long term relationship with the guy, that’s fine but if we go for “responsible’ guys, I’m guessing we have more than 2 dates in mind.
4- Yes asians guys are clean. Of course their mums/gf/wife do everything for them. They just have to go under the shower… And anyway this cleanliness is sometime freaky, bordeline OCPD. Some guys have more cosmetics than well groomed girl and spend an unecessary amount of time shopping or arranging their clothes and their hair. It just looks gay, sorry…
5-Empathetic? Well in order to be empathetic, you have to be able not only to express emotions yourself but also to read emotions in other. It is well known that production of emotion is not really a strength of asian poeple. They don’t like display of emotions and find themselves uncomfortable when dealing with such emotions. Basically everything deviating from normal is perceived as a threat to order.
I am sorry but I have suffered too much to let others go through the same situation. Just think about the implications of going long term with an asian. You will face all the aformentioned issues and you will be left devastated because it requires so much adjustements from north american culture, you basically have to become someone else and even so, it will not be enough cause asian blood doesn’t run in your veins and you will never be accepted. Maybe it doesn’t generalize to every situations but just beware that a relationship with an asian guy can really destroy your sense of self . However, I think that when the asians are actually leaving in north america, it might be easier and could work. But if they plan on going back home, just forget it. Don’t do that to yourself.
@Coquelicot
1. Pay back what? If I date a girl, what money I spend on her she doesn’t have to pay me back. It’s only cause like a girl that I would spend time/money with her. Also lacking creativity? Perhaps we should go on a date in which we buy ridiculous pirate clothes and commandeer shopping carts in an empty parking lot at night and wage war on the high seas I mean er pavement! AARR! Perhaps go shopping for parrots in those same outfits before or after? And then the next day we dress up, create aliases, go to a swanky bar, pretend we never met and loudly try out the lamest pickup lines. Act like they worked.
2. Yeah some Asian dudes are workaholics. Some Asian dudes are passionate about their work but they know how to separate work from play and also make time for their GF and for taking care of their bodies and enjoying hobbies or sports.
3. Don’t drink. Hell no. Lowers testosterone, bad for muscle/strength gains. Whisky dick. How am I supposed to fuck you silly with whisky dick? Sex is the only drug you need, baby.
Also, choosing between parents and my girl? Screw my parents. I’m spending the rest of my life with my girl not my parents. Anything for you, babe.
4. I’m growing a goateee. And I do 7 minute showers and never sit in a bath tub. I’m not sure guys even sit in a bath tub. Do they? I have no idea.
5. Empathy? Emotions? Of course we have emotions. But don’t expect us to get all namby pamby all the time. We have enough gay-ness perceptions to deal with. We strive to be a MAN who speaks through actions. So maybe instead of talking about stuff, I embrace you and then make love to you whatever way you like it. Maybe we can talk about stuff after that. If you were Beatrice and I were Dante, I would not hesitate to traverse through every level of hell just to be with you, babe.
I’m not sure what kind of 1 dimenstional FOB, you are dating, girl, but it sounds like you chose the wrong kind of Asian male.
Anyways all of this sounds very gay because I suspect that you are not a white chick, Coquelicot, but you are actually a white dude. How’s it going, brah?
Are you sure? I am dating Korean and for the most part he doesn’t display any of these things that are said… yes, he is Americanized which I don’t know if that makes some difference but for the most part… I think this could be generalization or what a man in general SHOULD be like!
@conejita
Of course these 5 reasons have been marketed towards white women even if it was not exclusive.
I simply cannot resist so I have to add my EUR 0.02, so take it with a pinch of salt.
1. Hardworking… yes Asians generally are hard working. The downside of this is they are also too status conscious and obsessed.
2. Generous… yes Asians are generally generous… but only when it suits them. Unfortunately money can easily buy love nowadays. True generosity does no longer belong to this era.
3. Responsible… This does not sound sexy… no it doesn’t. More often than not women are more attracted to players!
4. Well groomed and clean… just don’t overdo it.
5. Empathetic… well if you have the highest paid job, it will be very easy to figure out what women are thinking!
I am a white female married to an Asian man and he is a slob. When I ask him to pick up after himself he laughs at me and says “thats why I have a wife.” I cook for him, clean, take care of our 2 kids, have a part time job as an RN, go to school to further my career, and try to meet his every need and he is still constantly angry with me. He is very verbally abusive and screams at and cusses me in front of our kids. God, how I wish that the 5 traits you listed were true. My husband has none of them. He has no compassion for our relationship and I have always been faithful and subservient to him. And it has gotten me no where. I came across this site when I googled “how to live with an Asian man.” He tells me that we don’t get along because I’m white. I always think to myself…surely ALL Asian men are not like this…how could getting taken care of make any man so unhappy?
I am a white female married to an Asian man and he is a slob. When I ask him to pick up after himself he laughs at me and says “thats why I have a wife.” I cook for him, clean, take care of our 2 kids, have a part time job as an RN, go to school to further my career, and try to meet his every need and he is still constantly angry with me. He is very verbally abusive and screams at and cusses me in front of our kids. God, how I wish that the 5 traits you listed were true. My husband has none of them. He has no compassion for our relationship and I have always been faithful and subservient to him. And it has gotten me no where. I came across this site when I googled “how to live with an Asian man.” He tells me that we don’t get along because I’m white. I always think to myself…surely ALL Asian men are not like this…how could getting taken care of make any man so unhappy?
@ Shirley
Your husband is representative of a category of men, not necessarily only asian men.
If you want to get more enlightened, just read Conejita long posts.
They are frighteningly accurate, and I think that even the average asian is absolutely clueless about what she is talking about and noone is going to give her any credit for that.
if you non asian ladies want to learn or meet a real asian men. Check the website. http://www.hey-ai.com there are ton of asian guys all over the world and very friendly there. check the site out. and this is a nice article there.
I’m a Caucasian/Punjabi woman, and I seem to attract Asians more than anyone – it doesn’t matter where I am. It’s very odd, but fortunately, I have yellow fever. 😛
I’m 22, and of all my exes, only 2 were white, the other 5 Asian (East Asian).
All the Asian guys (except for 1 jealous psycho), I only broke up with for reasons external to them. The white guys – one was another jealous psycho, the other was a homophobic jerk who insulted one of my gay friends. 😦
All in all, I find the shamelessly fobby Asians attractive. 🙂
I know Japanese men are willing to put up with naughty, domineering alpha bitches who cheat on them with other men and get pregnant and forgive them. Most Asian men won’t do that. Instead they beat or kill. And they aren’t attracted to female players, either, especially with Filipinos, like my fiance. Any stylish clothes, jewelry, and make-up I wear, he thinks I’m a female player, or worse, whore, especially when I smile
That’s because you are a whore.
Those 5 reasons are ridiculous.
A standard for Asians would be that we try our best to do right and we’ll critcize ourselves later for things we think we could have done better even if we did them right. We’re not all just generous by giving money or doing for girls that guys think are girl jobs. But typically the guy is going to do everything to keep food on the table, the kids disciplined, and the family satisfied with their lives. It is a mark of shame when those points aren’t met and most Asian men have that burned into their DNA somewhere.
There are still pitfalls for sure. Asian men tend to think about the basic needs and can end up forgetting to romance the girl or skip out on sweet talk and date nights. Most tend to think doing means more than saying but girls sometimes need to hear it.
The idea that white guys or other non-Asian guys don’t have those 5 qualities is just dumb. Sure point 1 might be reasonable but there are plenty of hardworking non-Asians in the world. White guys can be much more generous than Asians because more of them think about romancing than the objective stuff. A white guy is more likely to give the girl a candlelit dinner in the park or a picnic along the coast, take a long walk, tell her she’s beautiful. In that way they can look more empathetic. Plus when the hell have you seen a normal white guy go on a date looking like a slob?
imo the stuff you can really look at is that more white guys than Asians will talk alot of game to the girls and woo them when Asians are more likely to help the girl out in a real jam or do things for her when she’s too tired or upset to do them. In the end it comes down to the girl and what’s she going through.
ex. Girl just got made fun of by her pals and she’s depressed. Asian guy might tell her that’s not true and not to let it get to her. In my exp this isn’t useful. Now a non-Asian guy (I think white or black is most common) would go up to her and tell her she’s one hot piece of ass they’d bang in a second. That works. The hispanic tease her until she laughs and forgets her troubles works too.
ex. Girl is being kicked out of her apartment because she can’t pay her rent. Non-Asians will probably just tell her that sucks and would she like to go out for a drink. Really not helping her problem. Asian guy is probably going to ok well do that first to let her forget her troubles until she can think straight then start asking her about her expenses and just how much she needed that apartment. Working through this big stuff with her works better than getting her drunk.
ex. Girl just had a rough day at work doesn’t wanna do anything and is feeling upset so she just kinda wants to sleep. Both will tell her to go to bed and not let that crap bother her. Non-asian will go back on the couch and watch sports until later at night then go up and start flirting/teasing her to make her forget about it. Asian guy will probably cook dinner and set the table as quietly as he can while listening to the game on his android w/earphones. If there are kids and they need something, he’ll tell them he’ll help them out today and that mommy need her rest et. When dinner’s ready and all that, he’ll quietly go up and see if she’s feeling better and wants to eat. At the dinner table, he’ll get “pissed” at her boss and say she shouldn’t put up with it in hopes she’ll calm him down about it so she’ll let it go. Nooky is a plus later on if she really let it go.
Thinking out of the SAM sounds like the ideal guy! Race is one factor of this article, but what do you think of religious views, specifically Muslims, as I haven’t met any Asians, besides 1 Chinese dude, that are Muslim?
@Shirley,
You are free to divorce that lazy ass Asian husband of yours. There are also lazy ass husbands of white, black, hispanic, indian, arabic, and other ethnic males of all races. Give him the ultimatium to shape up or ship out. While I respect Reflective Sam positive compliments in general about good Asian men, even I have to improve on some of those traits to my wife.
1. Hardworking
2. Generous
3. Responsible
4. Well-groomed and clean
5. Empathetic
I will always try to present positive traits Asian men can provide with their own kind and others should you decide to marry interracially.
Thank you ambw!
Not that I have any personal experience with the religion and the Chinese subject but China has a whole race that are Muslim. The Hui people are a minority in China but very much an accepted society of people. In China when families or neighborhoods have a population of them around they try their best to accommodate the dietary habits and other rituals they might need to take care of for their religion. From what I heard the Hui are very nice people. There’s just not alot of them outside the country.
Asian men (especially western asian men) make superior boyfriends over any white guy. Please help my buzzfeed article go viral– 17 reasons why Asian American men make the best boyfriends
http://www.buzzfeed.com/lotusl2/16-reasons-why-asian-american-men-or-any-other-we-pw41
there are whole communities for just asian men.
heyamwf.com for example is an wonderful site!